I quickly pierce the cellophane foil of the ready meal and throw it into the microwave. I take a bottle of wine and open it, pouring more than a glassful and gulping it down. Not that I need Dutch courage to do this, I don’t, I just like wine so much. A pint of water is placed on the counter and I dip into it every now and then. Everything in moderation my mother used to say. God, if my mother knew of what I was about to do she would turn in her grave. I hope she can’t see.The microwave pings and I throw the food down my throat. It’s impossible to take my time. I need to get the pleasantries over and done with. In my head I have replayed every twist and turn of how this is going to go many times. All the scenarios have started and finished differently, but each time I have been more than satisfied and fulfilled.I flick through the sexy clothes in my wardrobe not knowing what to wear. I pull out a sexy one-piece black dress that fits me snuggly; it’s almost elasticated, spray-on if. "What is going on?" "Well I told you that was no typo, but you wouldn't believe me. Now you have tits, a very nice pair I might add. But don't worry the toy will go to an underprivileged child on Christmas as usual. Now as to why I have done this, well I figured that those who came in here to donate a toy were the type of people who were in touch with the true meaning of Christmas. However the greatest gift that you can give on this holiday is not something of monetary value, but to give of yourself. I figured that those who gave to the Toys For Tits or Tots, as you say, campaign were people who would understand this. You have been transformed to give the gift of companionship at Christmas to a lonely soul who has been good in the past year and truly deserves to get laid by someone as sexy as you are now. And while this may go against tradition, I'm afraid it won't be a Silent Night tonight for either one of you. After you have given of yourself, hopefully repeated times,.
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